These dangerous little suckers don't happen out of nowhere.
They are born right when there's a crack in your heart. They start to dwell in your heart. Making you turn cold and heartless only to trick you. But when you resist it, you open doors for more wreckage to your heart. The tiny suckers crawl towards the brain and start taking control over you completely. Your body is now at their command. When your heart has surfaced a hundred scars from them, the suckers whisper softly into your ears about your devastated tragedies making you feel numb and weaker. You start to break now. You can't believe the fact that you are still alive facing these ferocious battles all alone and that there is nobody to aid the scars of your heart. You feel worthless. You look around, not a soul but there are people next to you. They don't match your frequency, but you're vibrating. You're internally expressing but they don't recognize or understand your agony. You become an emotional fighter. It is just you, your tragic thoughts, and the suckers. You realize there's no point in life if you're not wanted. It's all the game of the suckers, but you are slowly giving up. The suckers are the only ones who understand you and so you let them trick you. You become their victim eventually. When you look back into the past, at that one detail that made you feel like it pierced through your soul, and ripped you bare, like you hit the rock bottom, like it cut to your root and now you can't fight anymore. Your heart shatters. The little suckers are delighted. Now they direct you to end your life, because they say you got no hopes left. That there will never be another bright day. You will never be you again. It's a sweet sorrow.
I feel like shouting and screaming until my lungs don't feel life anymore, I feel like scratching and devouring until my nails are broken. I feel like sleeping until it's a new life. I wanna runaway from my thoughts. I feel like crying until I am okay, until everything is different. I feel uneasy like I'm losing myself. I feel like I can't breathe.
They are born right when there's a crack in your heart. They start to dwell in your heart. Making you turn cold and heartless only to trick you. But when you resist it, you open doors for more wreckage to your heart. The tiny suckers crawl towards the brain and start taking control over you completely. Your body is now at their command. When your heart has surfaced a hundred scars from them, the suckers whisper softly into your ears about your devastated tragedies making you feel numb and weaker. You start to break now. You can't believe the fact that you are still alive facing these ferocious battles all alone and that there is nobody to aid the scars of your heart. You feel worthless. You look around, not a soul but there are people next to you. They don't match your frequency, but you're vibrating. You're internally expressing but they don't recognize or understand your agony. You become an emotional fighter. It is just you, your tragic thoughts, and the suckers. You realize there's no point in life if you're not wanted. It's all the game of the suckers, but you are slowly giving up. The suckers are the only ones who understand you and so you let them trick you. You become their victim eventually. When you look back into the past, at that one detail that made you feel like it pierced through your soul, and ripped you bare, like you hit the rock bottom, like it cut to your root and now you can't fight anymore. Your heart shatters. The little suckers are delighted. Now they direct you to end your life, because they say you got no hopes left. That there will never be another bright day. You will never be you again. It's a sweet sorrow.
I feel like shouting and screaming until my lungs don't feel life anymore, I feel like scratching and devouring until my nails are broken. I feel like sleeping until it's a new life. I wanna runaway from my thoughts. I feel like crying until I am okay, until everything is different. I feel uneasy like I'm losing myself. I feel like I can't breathe.
PS: It is the most vulnerable phase of your life if you're going through something similar to this. You will be tricked by the little suckers, the evil demons (suicide thoughts) that you don't matter, that you got nobody and it will be the biggest lie you will ever hear. Because I've been there, felt things falling apart right in front of me and I could do nothing about it. That's when I felt the loneliest, like even my friends couldn't understand what was on my mind. Honestly, I couldn't understand myself and it scared me. The heights of my perspectives and reflections were too mature and wise. And i made it through this stage. In this phase you meet your real hero, it's nobody but you. It's a war between you and the suckers for you. Because you matter, you matter the most to yourself. You're a fighter, fight for your peace. Things will always fall into place. Always. Don't fall for the evil tricks thrown by your vicious part of mind. Life is beautiful even if bad things happen to you, all you got to do is open yourself and give in to yourself. Take care of yourself, love yourself. Nobody's got your back like you do.
LOTS OF LOVE,
~THE GIRL WHO LOVES INFINITY.
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